Monday, January 14, 2008

The Darwin Awards

"Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it."
They are not named for the husband on the TV show "Bewitched".

This years leading vote getter is "coitus interruptus". In South Carolina, a young man and young woman decided to make love at the edge of a pyramid shaped metal roof. They were found on the ground the next day. The man was reported to be smiling.
In Texas, a man named Michael consumed 3 liters of sherry utilizing an enema. The coroner reported a blood alcohol content of 0.47%. This is nearly five times what is suggested for a DUI.
In Guadalajara, Mexico, Jessica was working out in the hotel gym when she realized she needed something from downstairs. She decided to shout down an empty elevator shaft. The elevator was coming down the shaft at the same time.
Something similar to this happened at the Downtown Davisons at 180 Peachtree Street a few years ago.

A popular theme for this years Darwin’s is the importance of support beams. Several thieves were stealing scrap metal, when the support devices for the tank gave way and crushed the thieves. A careless demolition man at a Barn in West Virginia suffered the same crushing fate.
Some teenagers in Colorado decided to dance on top of an oil tank. They believed the tank to be empty, and lit some cigarettes and bong hits. The tank was not empty.
In a move that Frank Sinatra would appreciate, elephants in India attacked some journalists who were photographing them.
A young man in the Netherlands was a bit careless while lighting fireworks.
A witness told reporters,
"His face disappeared. If someone has no face left, you know it's serious."

A man in Yuba City California crossed the centerline of a highway, and ran head on into a hummer. He was working on his laptop while driving.
This is from the "he didn't come to Chambodia " department.

(19 April 2007, Phnom Penh, Cambodia) Unwanted amorous advances on a heifer resulted in a man's death at the hooves of the violated bovine. Sounds of a scuffle culminated in the discovery of his naked body lying beneath the frightened family cow. Injuries to his head and genital area were consistent with being kicked to death.
Why did he do it?
The man's divorce had become final a mere 10 days prior to his fateful final fling. In the divorce, and also a previous divorce, his ex-wives cited his insatiable desire as the cause of the dissolution.
Police concluded that the man died in a rape gone wrong. They do not plan to take action against the cow, which appeared to have been acting in self-defense.

HT on this goes to Feast of Fools.


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