Thursday, January 03, 2008

Heavy Metal Blunder

Finally, that tech rep found what he needed, and I have the computer again. I still have 32 minutes to go, so there is plenty of time.
But first, open the tupperware rectangle and get to the steamed spinach. I suppose Popeye found it easier to squeeze a can open, but for my money the way to eat spinach is to steam it while you eat breakfast, take it to work, and then eat the cold blob for lunch. It tastes good, and unlike many other tasty foods, it makes you feel good when you are finished.
I see that one of my internet heroes has had a life changing experience. Like fleeing your home at 17 to live in Jordan is not intense enough, you have to realize that heavy metal music is not the only thing that matters in life.
I suppose I should read his feature before making my commentary, but why bother. This is heavy metal, and if I wanted to read then I would listen to classical music. There is a DJ on our local NPR station that sounds like she is about to keel over from old age. This does add a bit of suspense to the daily broadcasts, and could certainly liven up a pledge drive it was properly marketed.

The first heavy metal band I heard growing up was Black Sabbath. No, it was not Alvin and The Chipmunks or Neil Diamond. It was Ozzie and his buddies. The role models I was assigned to did not think they were very cool.
But life was there to be lived. As I got older, I saw that my role models did not know everything. I found myself outside a football stadium in Seattle listening to Black Sabbath (without Ozzie) playing inside. Another time, I got home and saw a pair of longhairs working in the downstairs apartment. I turned the stereo up to 8 and put on "Paranoid". Ah, memories.
The story of the Iraqi Konfused Kid is a good one, and has many lessons for the heathens. Meanwhile, I finished my spinach, and went to the break room to find some leftover dessert from the Christmas Potluck. As I was carving out a chunk of Death by Chocolate Ice Cream, Bosslady came in with two pieces of bread, one of which was anointed with peanut butter. She looked in the canister with the fast food condiments, hoping to find a container of jelly to compliment the peanut butter. I suggested chocolate ice cream. She found something else.
Before sending this feature into the boogasphere, I consulted Wikipedia. This awaited:

“The origin of the term heavy metal in a musical context is uncertain. The phrase has been used for centuries in chemistry and metallurgy. An early use of the term in modern popular culture was by countercultural writer William S. Burroughs. His 1962 novel The Soft Machine includes a character known as "Uranian Willy, the Heavy Metal Kid”…The first recorded use of heavy metal in a song lyric is in Steppenwolf's "Born to Be Wild," also released that year:

"I like smoke and lightning/Heavy metal thunder/Racin' with the wind/And the feelin' that I'm under."

Spell Check suggestions for this feature:
Ozzie-Ooze, Oozy, Ox,Uzi
Konfused- confused, confessed, confides

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