eight candidates in twelve words or less

The original idea was to put the candidates in first name order, regardless of party affiliation. However, when you do this, you have a demo-repub split. This is using last names as a tie breaker, which puts Edwards ahead of McCain.

Barack Obama- Do we really want another coke head in the White (Line) House?
Hillary Clinton- Yuk.
John Edwards- How are we going to pay for all the cool ideas?
John McCain- Angers "conservatives". Would be 79 when his second term ends.
Mike Huckabee- Eats fried squirrel. Wants a theocracy.
Mitt Romney- What do you want to hear today?
Ron Paul -He didn't read those white supremacist newsletters.
Rudy Guliani- Please don't take this personally.
Spell check suggestions
repub- repel, repay, repot, republic, brewpub, rape, ripe
Huckabee- chickadee, checkable, hoecake, huskies, huskier, hotcake