Ungrateful Guest

Dorothy Parket was once a guest at San Simeon, the treasure filled palace of William Randolph Hearst. Miss Parker was observed making love to one of the other guests, and was asked to leave.
Miss Parker was amazed. Mr. Hearst was openly staying with his mistress, Marion Davies, and there was much drinking and "adult activity" in evidence. She was also impressed by the multitude of art treasures on vulgar display. Finally, she expressed herself with a poem.
"Upon my honor
I saw the Madonna
In a niche By the door
Of a well known whore
And a prominent son of a bitch"
Miss Parker once was going to have dinner in New York with Tallulah Bankhead, Montgomery Clift, and Truman Capote. The evening never got past the cocktail hour.
Resume
Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.
Dorothy Parker 1926