My story and I am sticking to it

iamgoingtostayhereandwinfootballgames
You have to wonder what is next.
For longtime Falcon witnesses (Fan is too strong), you know that when you think it can't get any worse, it usually does.
I just finished reading "My story (and I'm sticking too it)". This highly entertaining book
(possibly out of print, but go to the yard sales like I did) is the autobiography of Alex Hawkins. Mr. Hawkins himself wrote it, without the aid of a ghostwriter.
Once, Mr. Hawkins stayed out a bit later than a married man should. The next day, he told his wife he didn't want to bother her, so he slept on the hammock on the back porch.
His wife mentioned that she had thrown the hammock away a week earlier.
"Thats my story and I'm sticking to it". "

Number 25 played for the Baltimore ColtsYearning to be a starter, he asked to be in the expansion draft that supplied the Atlanta Falcons with players. He got his wish.
When he met original Falcons owner Rankin Smith, someone said, of Mr. Smith, "" He's not a bad guy, he just drinks too much". " Mr. Smith was later compared to Jed Clampett.
Atlanta Stadium got a hyphen and Fulton County added to its name, was compared to the cement pond.
As Alex Hawkins describes it, the first Falcons training camp in Black Mountain N.C. was the biggest mess he has ever seen.At one point, the team returned from an pre season game, only to discover the cook had gone home.
The team went on to go 3-11 that first year, but was largely forgiven by the public. The first win was over the New York Giants in the original Yankee Stadium. The crowd was waving hankerchiefs and chanting "Good bye Allie" to the Giants coach. At least he finished the season.
This year the Dirty Birds may go 3-13. The superdoobie star quarterback is serving a 23 month prison sentence. The shirt he wore in court Monday elicited the comment; "" I wouldn't wear that to a dog fight ". "
Owner Rankin Blank is wishing he had kept selling sheetrock.
And the head coach has quit to be the new coach at the University of Arkansas. This is the same state that gave us Bill Clinton, and is offering Mike Huckabee. Now, they have a football coach that was too sorry for the Falcons.
Unless Bernie Marcus takes up Rankin Blank on his kind offer to feed Mr. Petrino to the sharks at the fishtank.

Spell check suggestions for this feature:
clampett- clamped, clemet, campest, limpet, clamfest
petrino- portion perini, petering, perrine, parting, pertain, petting, patriot, potion, patron

Rankin Blank

iwouldn’twearthattoadogfight
So, Michael Vick was indicted for dogfighting. Maybe we can get rid of him and move the program forward.
The Falcons have been an embarrassment to the city ever since they were hatched in 1966. As an oldtimer, I remember the excitement of that first season, and the disappointment that quickly set it. In the forty odd years since then, the "dirty birds" have never but back to back winning seasons together. A football mad city has been deprived of it's birthright.
Once, a christmas shopper at Lenox Square left two Falcons tickets under his windshield wipers. When he got back to his car, there were four.
In the late eighties, Falcons owner Jed Clampett threatened to move the team if he couldn't get a new stadium. The first time the Atlanta City Council voted on the plan, the answer was no. A second vote a week later saw enough councilpeople changing their votes to get the Dome built. A hotel motel tax was enacted to pay for it.
Jacksonville soon got an expansion franchise, and is no longer on the market.
And so we go into the nineties. Deion Sanders and Jerry Glanville came and went. Coach Dan Reeves/Milburn Drysdale got the birds into the super bowl, but a defensive player was arrested the night before the game for soliciting a hooker. The game turned into a retirement party for John Elway.
By this time original owner Rankin Smith/Jed Clampett had moved on to that cement pond in the sky, and the "Five Smiths" put the team on the market. Home Depot big wheel Arthur Blank bought the team, and decided not to make orange aprons the new uniform.
There was great hope when Mr. Blank bought the team. At some point the Birds drafted Michael Vick, who created great excitement in his first season.
Now, Mr. Vick is an exciting player, no doubt. The marketing oriented Mr. Blank saw a national brand he could put on display, and offered Mr. Vick a nine figure contract.
Now we are stuck with the idiot. Unless Mr. Vick's contract has some clause about indictments/convictions, even if we don't play him, we still own him a pile of money. No way he can be traded, unless an owner even dumber than Rankin Blank wants a "hot dog" quarterback. Maybe Rush Limbaugh will buy a team.
After he got the big bucks, his motivation went bye bye. His passing and leadership qualities do not keep pace with his running, and one day soon he will slow down a step and not be good for running.
This all makes Mr. Blank's business smarts look less and less impressive. While side kick Bernie Marcus has built a highly successful aquarium (and no doubt gotten some nifty tax breaks in the process), Rankin Blank has given the bank to a dog fighter in the tank.
The best thing that could happen to the Falcons would be to ditch Vick, and build a boring team that wins games with defense and hard hitting. Mr. Vick seems to want to show his bite in Virginia.